The Noise of Boys

By Contributing Author, Lora Rossi of The Hugging Home

Let’s just say that “Tip Toe Through the Tulips” is not my family’s theme song.

I would say it is more along the lines of…hmmmm…something by Rage Against the Machine.

That’s OK I suppose, because Tiny Tim never would have fit in too well with our family.

I have a vertically unchallenged husband and, as such, we have produced three, vertically unchallenged sons.

They are all obviously male. They are all big.

And they all make a lot of noise.

One of our boys – the smallest of the bunch – is pretty darn cute…except when he is pissed.

You see, he is just about to turn two…and if you are a parent of any child older than that, you know what that mean.

Noise!

It is like living with a miniature, good-looking Jekyll & Hyde all rolled into one toddler.

To paraphrase a popular, old nursery rhyme, when he is good, he is very, very good…but when he is bad…well…yeah…he is pretty horrid.

And I mean this in the nicest of ways, of course.

One minute he can be playing with his cars or one of his many (noisy!!!) toys with a smile, and the next he will decide he does not like the toy he was so enamored with just five seconds ago and throw it across the room as if in a World Series caliber pitching duel.

He then proceeds to blow out of his nose as if he were a dragon – and while he is obviously mad enough to spout fire, only lovely, sprays of wet snot shoot out.

Sound fun?

Oh I’m not finished.

Along with this enjoyable display, Drew has this “mad noise” that he lets rip while all of this is going down. It is hard to explain, but it sounds something like a cross between a woman giving birth to twin elephants without any pain medication and someone who just happened across every horror movie bad guy ever created.

It’s loud, it’s ugly and I am genuinely surprised that I am not currently living somewhere in a padded room wearing a straight jacket.

And that this is not my first…not my second…but my frickin’ THIRD time dealing with this s***!

But I know I am not alone in this.

Many of you have been there.

And to those of you who have yet to visit this rapturous stage of toddler hood, I am truly sorry.

The fun has only begun.

As I mentioned, there are three other boys that live with me – one who is 40 years old (this generally means he is a man, but we all know that men are just larger versions of boys…let’s be real here people!) and two others who are 11 and 8.

And when you have a toddler like the one I just described to you…you kinda want your house to be quiet when he is sleeping.

This is a rare thing indeed.

My boys wrestle, they play Motley Crue, they argue, they play mini versions of any sport you can imagine and they run around the house like those twin elephants I mentioned. Doors are not gently closed, they are slammed. Kitchen cupboards are the same.

And my dear husband…well…he just does all the same s***…just a lot louder.

So the next time one of the boys that share your home hits a decibel that would kill a dog, have heart…not a heart attack.

You are not alone.

In fact, pretty soon I am quite confident that we will all be together some day.

In a padded room.

Wearing straight jackets.

But I promise to smuggle in mass quantities of wine.

And no Motley Crue.

Perhaps some Enya.

About the Author: Lora Rossi is the busy mother of 3 boys, wife, writer, blogger, artist, DIYer, certified home stager, non-profit professional and has a passion for connecting with and helping others, especially through the creative arts and the written word. Lora specializes in parenting, family, kids and authentic living. She’s a ruler breaker, a cookie baker, a lawn raker, an earth quaker, a morning waker, an ass shaker, a for heaven saker, a home maker and most of all a hug taker.  Check out her blog The Hugging Home.