A letter to my disappointed self…

aidenDear Sarah of 2009,

You just found out that ultrasounds can be wrong. After two (count them TWO!) ultrasound techs informing you you were having the baby girl of your dreams, you have just learned you are in fact having a baby boy. I know you are very, very sad and very, very scared. You’re an only child and boys are scary and intimidating and unknown. All of the worst stereotypes are running through your head. Boys don’t read. Boys aren’t verbal. Boys are rowdy and loud and dirty.

The good news is about half of that isn’t true. Little boys can love books just as much as girls. Your little boy will fall in love with books so deeply it will take your breath away. Little boys can be verbal. Your little boy will talk and talk and talk. He will talk sooner than you expect. He will speak more complexly than you could imagine. He will talk and talk and talk until you wish he’d just be quiet.

The other good news is about half of that IS true. Boys are rowdy and loud and dirty and it’s FANTASTIC. Quiet tea parties are great and dress-up is fun no doubt but there is something completely intoxicating about the boundless energy of little boys. They climb and dig and dump and run until there is not a speck of land untouched by their grubby little hands. It’s can be overwhelming and when they don’t get that time, it can be downright unpleasant. But believe me if you hadn’t been a part of this, if you hadn’t been pushed outside your parenting comfort zone, you would have been missing out.

Just know that it’s ok that you wanted a little girl. The brutal truth is that you will still want one three years later. However, you will also want this little boy – this boy you never knew you always wanted.

Which is good, because {SPOILER ALERT} you’re having another baby boy in two years!


Sarah of 2012

 Sarah Stewart Holland of Salt & Nectar

4 thoughts on “A letter to my disappointed self…”

  1. so true. We have three boys. People ask my wife if she’s going to try for a girl. She says, “I did. Three times!” I wish we could have had a girl for her, but there’s no way we would be happier. Just different. Love this message.

  2. Ooooh, I felt the same way at my ultrasound. The tech kept pointing out, over and over again, how the picture was not of a girl! I don’t remember when I stopped crying…but I’m so glad I did because I couldn’t imagine what I would do with a girl! I was raised a tomboy, so my son is a blessing for me (and my dad, too!)

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