Boys! My son was a bedtime handful. I spent two stressed filled hours each night trying to get him to sleep. He  built forts in his closet. Emptied his dressers and pretended he was jumping into books. He was a bundle of boy energy!

Today’s boys face a complicated and stressful world. Many boys act out with aggression which is often overlooked as a warning sign for possible stress overload. While society has evolved in how we view boys, there is still a lot of work to be done. Many boys are still expected to be tough and are not given the tools to express themselves.  It is difficult for any adult, teen, or child to fall asleep when they are keeping fear and concerns to themselves.

Tips to Help Boys Fall Asleep:

• Avoid stimulating and violent video games.
• Have a winding down time between homework or activity and bedtime.
• Encourage talking about feelings with questions like, “How are you feeling? How are things with your friends?"
• Take distractions out of the room.
• Introduce relaxation music  and stress management techniques at an early age.
• Create a safe and comfortable place for children at bedtime. If they want a favorite blanket or stuffed animal around let them have it.
• Focus on relaxation instead of the act of falling asleep.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites

sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">

Does your baby turn up her barely-grown nose at peas, throwing them off the spoon and onto your shirt? Do you ask her to try the food, force her to try it, or throw it away? Eating healthily is important at a young age, but this is also the age to teach a toddler healthy eating habits and attitudes that will stick with her throughout her life. We’ve got tips for teaching both healthy habits and healthy eating.

3 Easy Ways to Teach Your Child Healthy Habits:

1. Decide which nutritious foods to offer, but let your toddler decide how much to eat. Never insist your toddler eat everything on her plate.
2. Respect your toddler’s tastes and preferences - don’t force feed a child. Some children eat almost everything while others are pickier. Allow them the freedom to not eat certain foods.
3. Reward your toddler with your attention—not food and drink. Play, read, or talk with your toddler as a reward. Never use food or drink as a reward for eating other foods or for good behavior.

These tips are from The Infant & Toddler Forum, a team of UK specialist pediatricians, psychologists and dieticians. For more, check out the Ten Steps for Healthy Toddlers.

5 Nutrients Your Child Needs and How to Get Her to Eat Them

The U.S. "Dietary Guidelines for Americans" lists five nutrients as essential for kids: calcium, fiber, magnesium, vitamin E, and potassium.

1. Calcium: builds strong bones. From Got Milk? ads to Happy Cow commercials, it’s pretty common knowledge that kids need calcium to bolster bone strength. Calcium also promotes heart and muscle function. Most kids need 3 servings a day, and dairy foods are a great place to find those servings. Try smoothies, cheese sticks, and slipping milk into things that call for water, like oatmeal and instant hot chocolate.
2. Fiber: facilitates digestion. Fiber can also curb your child's risk for several diseases, like heart disease and type 2 diabetes. Legumes, fruits, and vegetables are great fiber sources. Try celery-and-peanut butter, zucchini hummus, and chilled fruit as snack.
3. Magnesium: grows healthy kids. Building up bone density is just one of the many things magnesium does to keep a child's systems in tip-top working order. Nuts, seeds, legumes, and certain fish are great for upping magnesium intake in children. Try baked pumpkin seeds instead of potato chips, use crushed nuts to crust or “fry” your dinner fillet, and try quinoa and bulger in place of rice or noodles.
4. Vitamin E: builds immunity. In kids, vitamin E protects against cell damage and helps build a healthy immune system. Find vitamin E in oils, nuts, seeds, and green vegetables. Try almond butter or sunflower seed butter in sandwiches and snacks, add leafy greens to soups, and try wheat germ as a binder in your meatloaf or meatball recipes.
5. Potassium: essential for strong muscles. Kids need potassium for heart and muscle function and normal blood pressure. Find it in almost every food, but bananas and oranges are the most recognized sources of potassium. Try pork tenderloin, peaches, and pureed fruits for fresh sources of potassium.

Want a big bang for your buck? Smoothies are a great way to combine all the essential nutrients—combine a banana, berries, vanilla almond milk, almond butter, a handful of spinach leaves, and ice for a sweet treat your kids will love.

Teaching children from an early age to eat a variety of foods for a variety of nutrients is a great lesson for the future, creating healthy habits and healthy food choices for the rest of their lives.

Lyssa Myska Allen is the Editorial Director from EndlessBeauty.com Lyssa has been on the forefront of an ever-changing journalism world. She’s overseen the development and optimization of content for various mediums. At EndlessBeauty.com she manages the entire site’s content from feature stories to video scripts. A lifelong athlete and health enthusiast, Lyssa’s philosophy aligns perfectly with EndlessBeauty.com’s vision, "You have to build confidence in yourself and your body to be beautiful. I truly believe that confidence is what creates success—personally and professionally.”EndlessBeauty.com is a health and beauty website with a section devoted to New Moms.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites

I was asked by Nathan O’Leary of Legacy Publishing Company to do a review for RaisingBoysWorld.com on the Total Transformation Program. You may have seen the infomercials where James Lehman (a behavioral therapist and the man to created the program) talks about how to get control of difficult kids (disrespectful, lying, fighting, swearing, etc..)

Of course, I’m always willing to do a review that might in someway help RBW readers, though honestly, I wasn’t sure if or how it would benefit my family personally seeing as my boys aren’t too stressful at this point. Well... I guess that’s not exactly true...a certain individual can cause a fair amount of stress for a variety of reasons, so to understand how to handle him and improve his behavior would be wonderful. Nonetheless, I accepted the opportunity and voila! a package arrived.

I should mention that the price of the program is more than $300, so it’s not for everyone though they do offer a money-back guarantee as well as payment terms. Also, it requires time. The package arrived awhile ago and it’s taken me much longer to post this review than I ever had imagined, simply because it’s a serious commitment of your time.

Here’s what it is: a combination of DVDs (2) and audio CDs (8) and a workbook. It’s recommended to do a lesson per week. It all marries together so you use the workbook in conjunction with the CDs.

So...is it a hoax or was it helpful? I say HELPFUL!

According to Lehman, believes that kids don’t have the skills they need to deal with their problems, and so they act out in an effort of trying to solve them. He also suggests that parents need to develop effective parenting skills to teach their children the skills they need to get through life. The program’s "tough love" approach is easy to follow and intended to help restore your sanity. I was reminded that as parents, we need to maintain control.

It helps to see your children and yourself defined by Lehman’s terms. This may sound odd, but it almost helps you to diagnose what you’ve been doing and how your child responds in terms that make sense. For example, I’m a combination Negotiator and Screamer. Something I feel very strongly about is developing a culture of accountability in the home and so does Lehman. To get kids to take responsibility for their actions. He provides tools that you can put to use to improve behavior.

The program is logical, practical and makes sense.

Is it worth it? It’s hard to say since every family and child is different, but it certainly packs a lot of information that you - provided you have the time - will benefit from. Also, you need to put into practice what you learn. If you do, you will likely see improved behavior from your child.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites

@TalkingTeenage's Barbara Greenberg shares with RBW this article from their website:

www.talkingteenage.com, Hot Topics, Thursday, September 2, 2010

Many fathers express concern that their teens don't talk to them. Sadly, they feel left out.  They tell us that their teens often choose to speak to their mothers instead. Some even say that their teens only seek them out when they want money.  Others feel that mothers get in the way of their relationships with their kids by involving them in conflict between mother and teen.  We believe that they are referring to the expression "Wait until your father gets home!" Fathers complain that they are seen as the bad guys who are asked to take sides after a fight between mother and teen. Although, these fathers want to support their wives they don't want to be seen as the scary parent who is called upon to deliver punishment. Another obstacle for some fathers is that they have a tough time speaking the language of emotion which many teens, especially females, desire.

We want to emphasize that not all fathers face these obstacles. In fact, in many families, teens prefer to talk to fathers. Fathers can, at times, be easier to talk to about touchy issues as they tend to react less emotionally.  They may respond to emotional issues in a practical manner which teenage boys tend to prefer.  In some families, fathers are raising kids as single parents and thus contend with a totally different set of issues. But for dads who feel that they are on the periphery of their teens' lives we offer the following suggestions:

1. Be available to your teens.

2. Talk to your teen's mother about your desire to be consulted both when things are going well and not so well.

3. Introduce a little humor when you are uncomfortable with a topic. Be very careful though. You do not want to come across as sarcastic or mocking.

4. Think about the communication and relationship skills that you use at work and see if they make sense to use with your teens.

5. DO NOT MAKE ANGER YOUR MOST POPULAR EMOTION!

6. Let your teens know that they are a priority

and

7. By all means, never underestimate the importance of your role in their lives.

Listen to RBW's Interview with TalkingTeenage's Barbara Greenberg PhD and Jennifer Powell-Lunder PsyD on their new book: Teenage as a Second Language Here.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites

“A positive school experience, in short, can bolster a boy's self-esteem”

- - Dr. William Pollack

For millions of students the start of the school year is filled with excitement and anticipation. But for parents struggling with the academic performance of their boys, the start of the school term is a period filled with trepidation. Who’s leaving school in record numbers? For a number of frustrated parents it’s the boys. This year according to the National Education Association, 10.3% of American students between the ages of 16 and 24 will leave school without any kind of high school completion credentials. An overwhelming number of them are males, more specifically males of color. Evangelia Biddy, Editor-in-Chief of Junior, the magazine about bringing up successful boys, speaks with leading psychologist Dr. William Pollack to learn more about what’s happening with boys at school.

In Real Boys you describe a "national crisis of boyhood." What do you mean by this?

The statistics about boys' education are startling. Eighth-grade boys are 50 percent more likely to be held back a grade than girls. By high school, 67 percent of all special-education students are boys. Boys receive 71 percent of all school suspensions and are up to 10 times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with attention-deficit disorder.

A recent University of Chicago study, which combined results of six major surveys on educational achievement spanning 30 years and involving thousands of children, shows that there is a new "gender gap" in education -- with boys falling to the bottom of the heap.

As the study reveals, girls, due to our special efforts, have made steady gains in math and science while outperforming boys in reading and writing. The study found such large differences in boys' and girls' writing that it concluded that males are at a major disadvantage in what is a basic skill. That is a disparaging conclusion, to say the least.

"The Condition of Education," issued by the U.S. Department of Education in 1997, says much of the same. For the last 13 years, females have significantly outscored males in reading and writing. Boys have fallen behind and many more have dropped out.

In your book you speak of the "boy code", the myths and expectations we have about the behavior of boys. How does this “code” affect the way boys learn at school?

In my experience with my research and as a psychologist, when we observe boys' emotional worlds more closely, we discover much quiet suffering under their outward bravado. We bring boys up according to a "code" that teaches them not to express vulnerable emotions, and shames them if they do. In my "Listening to Boys' Voices" study at Harvard, even very young boys reported that they felt they must, to quote a few, "keep a stiff upper lip," "not show their feelings," "act real tough," "not act too nice," and "just laugh and brush it off when someone punches you." These boys were not referring to subtle suggestions about how they "might" comport themselves. Rather, they were invoking strict rules they had absorbed about how they "must" behave, rules that most of them seemed to genuinely fear breaking.

Boys learn the "boy code" in sandboxes, playgrounds, schoolrooms, camps, churches and hangouts. This message is reinforced by their peers, coaches, teachers and of course their icons in music and on television. Boys feel the pressure of the "boy code" in the classroom as much as anywhere else. This is very detrimental to their education; in school boys quickly become labeled as "troublemakers" or as "hyperactive". They become fearful of expressing themselves in the classroom.

Moreover, this "boy code," as much a part of school life as it is, has created a "national crisis of boyhood": our boys are four times more likely to commit suicide than girls, and have a higher incidence of depression and a skyrocketing rate of diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder.

Where are schools going wrong with boys?

To the distress of teachers, administrators, parents and boys alike, coeducational public schools are some of the least comfortable, least friendly and least productive environments in boys' lives. Teaching styles and disciplinary habits are simply not suited for the average boy and often lock him into a terrible cycle of punishment and bad behavior.

But schools are not failing for lack of trying. Many of the schools I visit are trying hard to do better. Many teachers and administrators care greatly about boys and their educational development. But, in general, our schools are failing boys in several ways. First, teachers simply do not appear to be doing a good job noticing the problems many boys have in certain academic subjects, such as reading and writing. Second, schools and teachers tend to be poorly versed in boys' specific emotional and social needs. This leads to addressing issues as they arise inappropriately or inadequately.

In learning environments biased against their masculine strengths, boys may get turned off or begin to become frustrated, attempting now to get their needs met by seeking negative attention--or, we might say, through unwitting protest against this educational gender straitjacket that hems them in. This last-ditch rebellion completes the circle of failure, because now these boys are labeled as troubles in the classroom and a disruption to the learning process. Because the myth that "boys will be boys" is deeply entrenched, teachers and school administrators are often permitted to become punitive toward boys --- thus pushing our sons even further toward academic failure, low self-esteem, conduct disorders, and other emotional and behavioral problems.

When boys feel in conflict with their schools and do not do well there, it deeply affects their self-esteem. By middle school, their self-esteem as learners is lower than girls'. While adolescent boys continue to show apparently average levels of self-regard, their scores on a measure called the "lie" scale --- that is, their fabricated self-esteem or false bravado --- skyrockets with age. Such lowered self-view, driven home by the education system, does more than lead to school failure. It creates a pathway to drugs, violence, depression and suicide.

How do boys learn differently from girls and what can educators do to make the classroom a more comfortable and effective place for boys?

I firmly believe that – depending on how curricula are structured, how classrooms are run and what attitudes about boys prevail – a school can either shape boys positively or confuse them and lead them terribly astray. By addressing who a boy really is and what he really needs, a school can make a difference in helping him do well academically, feel positive about himself and develop a healthy sense of masculinity. A positive school experience, in short, can bolster a boy's self-esteem.

Boys have a unique learning style that is different from that of girls. Research suggests that, whereas many girls may prefer to learn by watching or listening, boys generally prefer to learn by doing, by engaging in some action-oriented task. I've observed boys who are so resistant to reading books in class that they'll literally toss them aside to pursue more hands-on activities. Yet some of these same boys have been motivated to read on a computer, which allows them to have fun scrolling through the pages using a keyboard or mouse. I've also seen boys who, though identified as "lazy readers," became active, proficient readers when given material on subjects that interested them, such as sports, adventure stories and murder mysteries. Most critically, I believe we must make absolutely sure that for every boy there is a "good fit" between what makes him thrive as an individual and what his school actually provides for him.

For instance, if a boy learns best by reading quietly by himself for a certain length of time – say, half an hour – and then taking breaks in which he engages in vigorous physical activity, such as running or playing a sport, ideally his school will not require him to attend four hours of classes in which he is given no time to read by himself and no time for motor activities. If another boy learns best by working in small groups in which the students teach one another through shared lessons and activities and where no student is ever put on the spot to come up with the right answers, ideally the boy is not placed in classrooms with huge numbers of students and then grilled by the teacher.

The more warmly a boy feels toward his school – connected, understood and treated fairly – the less likely he is to become suicidal, to abuse drugs and alcohol or to engage in impulsive sexual activities. A boy does best when he feels his teachers care, understand him and have high hopes for him academically.

What can parents and educators do to improve the educational experiences of their boys in school?

Ten years ago girls lifted their heads and raised their voices that schools needed to address the ways in which they learn. Critics said at the time that there couldn't be change. Girls have all but caught up with boys in the critical areas of math and science where for so long they lagged behind.

It is completely possible in the here and now to make positive change for boys, and we can start by doing for boys what we have done for girls. We can teach teachers about boys' learning styles and help them adapt their teaching methods and curricula accordingly. We can help parents and teachers learn to connect with boys. Boys communicate and express in their own ways. The more we understand this, the smaller a unit is in which a boy participates, the better he is known in his group, the more clear the connection he has with his peers and his teachers, the more likely a boy is to be successful in school and in life.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites

Raising Boys Family Travel Report visits Hyatt Regency Tamaya Resort and Spa in New Mexico.

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites