There's Nothing To Do!

“There is nothing to do!” I think I have heard that phrase from my two boys almost every day this summer.

Being a single dad and recently divorced, I am nearing the end of my first summer without my wife coordinating the daily itinerary of “stuff to do”.

In the spring I was looking forward to spending days on the beach with my boys. In my head I was picturing these days filled with fun, laughter and many moments of genuine son/dad bonding. I imagined sitting on the beach catching up on my latest Dean Koontz novel and watching my kids play in the waves and build sand castles.
That dream was shattered 15 minutes into our first beach trip in June. I had just finished setting up our blankets, chairs, put out all sand toys when the boys came back to our spot.  They announced that they were bored and there was nothing to do. I told them that when I was a boy at the same beach we made up our own fun. We had very few toys and our parents were not there to entertain us. In fact the more we interrupted them, the less fun we were going to have.
I tried to explain to them the way it was when I was their age the summers were filled with days of adventure. The main toy that we had was our imagination. The beach trips we took were to the community beach on the town lake.  We didn’t have organized trips to indoor playgrounds and to places you go to paint ceramic figures for $20 per piece. We had a girl named Janet who was always waiting for us in the local park. With her guidance we would master the art of gimp, create Native American wallets and make those pot holders that would shrink up to the size of a postage stamp after being washed.
The boys were amazed when I told them that we were allowed anywhere outside as long as we stayed on our street and came home as soon as the street lights came on.
Before I knew it a few hours had gone by. We had all eaten our lunch and the boys had sunburns on their faces because I forgot to put sunscreen on. (I still have a way to go with respect to being the only parent in charge.) We left the beach and to my surprise the boys asked questions all the way home wanting more details from my childhood summers.

I don’t know when things changed but sometime while I was not paying attention our children’s lives have become ultra programmed. Parents have become the Cruise Directors of their children’s social life and the kids become like a deer in headlights when there is nothing planned for them to do.
I wish it was not that way for several reasons. Most importantly I feel that they have such a small percentage of their imaginations are engaged. The other reason is that I simply cannot afford to keep up with the Jones’s children. I don’t know exactly how I am going to do it but I do want to try to encourage less toys and activities and more self inspired fun. I would welcome any suggestions or thoughts on how I can begin to do this.

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