My 8-Year Old is Hiding

It seems that my 8 (almost 9) year-old son has begun metamorphosing into a pre-tween. Technically, the tween years are said to occur between 10- 14. Yep. Fun times ahead. The transformation comes complete with a little attitude, cockiness, a bit of temper and some "coolness" to boot. Fortunately, I have a little while yet before my cute little boy changes before my eyes into a young little man. I'm not ready for this so I done some research for other moms who would like a "head-up" on what to expect. Brace yourself. During this time, boys are said to become more attention seeking. While they might admit to an interest in girls, they're still more likely to want to play a game of soccer with friends than hang-out with girls. They tend to be a little shy at this point with girls they might have an interest in. With so many physical, emotional, social and intellectual changes taking place during this time, recognizing your son can be a challenge. This is an anything goes time, as there really isn't a norm to follow, only some general ideas of what to expect during his years between 10 and 14, including:

• Growth spurts may begin
• Interest in his body, how it works or how it looks
• Clumsiness and awkwardness due to bone growth proceeding muscle growth
• Changes in his voice
• Mood changes
• Anxiety about what he's experiencing
• Body hair
• Broadening of shoulder muscles, development of chest muscles
• Body odor
• Pimples or facial breakouts
• Hair growth in pubic area and underarm area
• Erections or wet dreams
• An increased desire for privacy is a normal sign of maturity
• A tendency to pull away from parents and, for the first time, turn to other adults for advice. Bonds with teachers, counselors and coaches are stronger at this time than at any other.
• Most boys  experience a drop in grades upon entering middle or junior high school because of the change from a one-room, one-teacher situation, for the most part changing classes and dealing with various teachers.
• Most of the problems at this age pertain to social or organizational issues, rather than academic.

What is a parent to do? Most importantly, talk to your son. Be honest about your expectations, experiences and feelings about this period in his life. Never preach to your son, he'll turn you off after 1 minute of preaching. Ask questions and listen to his answers.  Make time to share time with him. If he feels you have a connection, he's more likely to share concerns or ask questions (though don't expect much of this as boys at this age tend to keep more to themselves). Be participant in his life, not an observer.

• Teach respect for family members, teachers and authority.
• Remove bad influences from your son?s life.
• Make breakfast, dinner, and weekends family time.
• Set limits. Enforce strict curfews.

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